Okay I have to just come clean. I did it! I finally did it! It had been building up for some time now and I may have mentioned earlier that I wanted to get her.
I mean she had been under the radar far too long. Always having something to say but not big enough to hang around to back it up. Coming around at inconvenient times.
I had been waiting for the right moment to get her! I knew I needed a somewhat confined place.
I seized my opportunity... in the van!
We were coming up the hill, just a block or two away from the house when she opened that mouth again. I didn't hear her but her best friend did and reacted to her. I'd just finished fussing about the kids cleaning their rooms when we got home.
"What? I know you don't like cleaning either but you can't say that about my mama," my daughter giggled, while peering at me in my mirror.
I knew they were talking about me and they wanted to make sure I was listening.
Well I was and it was on.
I smiled and asked my daughter to let her buddy come sit up front beside me.
I could see skepticism in her eyes but she coerced her to go.
When I thought she was in the seat I bopped her close to her mouth- several times. Before she could catch her breath I started choking her off! I swerved a little but quickly got back across the yellow lines.
It felt GRRRRRRReat! And I wasn't done. I saw my pocket book nearby so I hit her a few times with it.
Our son laughed so hard!
His sister was speechless for once.
She didn't say anything until we pulled into the garage.
"Mama we should probably take Wilbur to the hospital."
I was in too deep now. I continued to play the game right along with my daugther.
"We can't. She not on our insurance," I told her.
The next day, I asked her (daughter) where Wilbur was. I thought surely I'd gotten rid of her.
"She's in the back seat with a cast on her neck!" she screeched. "Thanks to mama!"
She looked at me funny in the mirror. For a minute I felt crazy for going there over a make-believe friend.
I looked back at her in the mirror-
"Well that can happen to anyone. Real people too!"
Adventures of a seemingly dYsFUNctioNALl mom and wife!
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