The Negotiator

We warned our son that he would get a spankin' if he did not have a good day in school. The day before, he did not have a good day, and while I know it is Spring and nearing the end of school, so kids are getting a little "beside" themselves- we don't want him cutting up in school. He likes to tell us what other students did in class and how they got in trouble too.
We tell him the same thing each time, "We don't have anything to do with 'other' kids. They don't live in our house!"
Well he did not have a good day so we had to follow through on what we said and Daddy had to spank him. His sister- again being the compassionate child she is- gets upset when he gets spankings. Yet he will try to get a front row seat when it is her turn. For some reason that doesn't change a thing for her. Oh but when my younger brother would get "it" I would run to get a branch- not a switch- for our mom to use on him. And he did the same for me.
She started tearing up before Daddy and her brother had "the talk" so I got her out of the house. Okay I was a little upset too so we went to the garage and listened to some music. For some reason it does not bother me to spank them but it does when Daddy gets them. And "the talks" are worse to me than the spankings. I mean get it over with already so we can move on. My mom talked while she was spanking! Then she would make me take a nap! I remember waking up later feeling like I'd been born again! Back to the story...
So Daddy talks to him about why he was getting a spanking. Then when it was time for the spanking, our son wants to talk more.
"Daddy. Are you gonna spank me soft or hard?"
"Well I can't spank you soft son."
"Okay well are you gonna spank me hard or SUPER hard?"
"Come on and get it over with," Daddy told him.
He began to plead with him.
"Okay wait. Do you want me to stand up or do I have to lay over your lap?"
While he said this he began backing up toward his closet.
"Now you better not try to run in a corner in your closet or you will get it worse!" Daddy told him.
"Okay! Okay!" he cried then fell to pieces on the floor.