I got really good laugh today! I posted, on Facebook, for my status that I was gonna have to lay the right-hand of fellowship on my kids. I received a few comments. One friend posted a hilarious, off-the-wall, comment.
"Take out all the racks in your fridge and hide in there. When the kids get hungry and come open it, surprise 'em and jump out and start whippin' 'em with a gallon of milk and some frozen steaks."
Uh... can we say Social Services or the Po Po coming?
It was funny! So funny to me that I called my younger brother to tell him about it.
Then he had a better, more realistic suggestion.
"Naw, beat the mess out of Wilbur!"
Wilbur is our daughter's make-believe friend she conveniently talks to at inappropriate times. Last time being seconds after I fussed her out. She claimed Wilbur was talking about me. You'd have to go back and read that post.
This is a great idea! I'm gonna do it! I'm gonna just jump up in the middle of her watching Disney Channel and pretend to beat Wilbur down. I can see myself, choking him- or her- then throw in a little old school wrestling moves (when wrestling seemed a little more real). I'm gonna put Wilbur in the head-lock first and run toward the wall, then put him in the figure-four, then show no mercy and pile drive him-or her.
Can't wait to see what my daughter does then. Get Wilbur up out of here!
Now her brother choked Wilbur once. I probably posted about it too but it was when he was younger. I think he was in daycare because that made it funnier- that he was so young to think t do that.
He wanted to play with her but she told him no that she was playing with Wilbur instead. He sat there for a minute, then out of the blue, this little child I delivered, knee-high to a grassphopper, began choking her make-believe friend, Wilbur. And he put emotion into it to. Bit his bottom lip and choked and shook Wilbur wildly! He did it for about two minutes too.
But his sister wasn't rattled. When he finished she folded her arms and told her brother,
"Wilbur is over there." Pointing to another area of the room.
That's okay. I'll get him! I'll have the last laugh.
Adventures of a seemingly dYsFUNctioNALl mom and wife!
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