Popular Posts

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Can't Make Stinky Just Anywhere!

Myles and Maurissa are playing soccer now. Their first sport! They are pretty good too. Myles is really good- we just have to tell him to make sure he is kicking the ball in the right goal. He listens well and he is just good- looks much bigger than the other kids.
Well Maurissa... we don't know what's gonna happen with her when she plays or practices. The second practice, the coach is bent down talking to them in a huddle and I think she is looking at him intently and listening, but she is using his sunglasses as a mirror. She starts fixing her hair, then has the little nerve to pull his sunglasses down a bit off his face so she can see HERSELF better. She then asked him to hold still so she could see where to place her hair clip. (Why does this stuff happen to me?)
In the past three weeks since they started there have been plenty of comedy scenes. Well today just beat all. This stuff always happens to me- when I am by myself with them. Maurissa and her teammates are on the field practicing and she is actually attentive. Then after about 15 minutes I see her holding herself. Coach tells her to go and points to the "Port-a-John" of course. She runs there and I hesitate at first to go with her but Myles is with me so I let her go on. I mean I could see her and I've taught her to squat or line the seat. A few minutes creep by and I look up there and there are two people waiting with their kids. I waited another minute or two and ran up there- thinking she is in there playing.
"I'm so sorry," I smile at the people waiting.
I knocked on the door and in my Claire Huxtable voice, ask, "Maurissa... are you done? There are people waiting."
She didn't respond.
I knock a little bit harder and Myles proceeds to open the door.
"No! Don't open the door while she is in there buddy," I say ever so gently.
"Uh come on outta there! What are you doing?" Now more like Penny's mom from Good Times.
"I'm making stinky!" she answers.
I want to crawl under one of the cars in the parking lot.
She comes out and the smell follows. She comes out with her loud voice with details about the stinky she just made. I over-talked her to stop her.
Through my clinched teeth I tell her, "You shoulda waited 'till we got home to do that!"
How nasty!!!

Monday, April 07, 2008

A Mama On The Edge! (Don't call DSS)

So...parents... have you ever been so fed up with your kids that you just wanted to... do something to 'em? Something physical? Not anything that will leave a scar(physically that will lead back to you) or anything like that, but possibly a scar in their little memories? I know I ain't the only one. Well, I have had quite a few of those times and usually I didn't act on them. We all have those THOUGHTS. Back when I was younger and got my tail tore up, I would actually pray,
"Dear Lord will you please just let my mama fall down the steps. Please Lord, if you just do it one time I promise I will stop changing the words in the back of the hymn books at church!"
Now that's another long blog, but my point is... I don't THINK I really wanted my mom to be seriously hurt. I was acting off of emotions. (He never answered that prayer and I didn't immediately stop changing the titles in the hymnals either) But Lord you knew my heart.
I love my babies- Lord knows I do- but sometimes they take me there... the edge!
We were in Wally World (Walmart) and they were dancing, singing and asking for everything. I'd had a long day at work with the little kindergartners (Woooh), so I was really not wanting to bothered with two I couldn't send on a bus or put in the car rider line. My two sweet little beings were full of energy and acting as if they had never been spanked or yelled at. I was trying to shop fast and get out of there without "gettin" one of them.
I was getting my last few items when I hear giggling. It was the six-year-old.
"What's so funny, Maurissa?" I asked.
I followed her eyes to see her brother, the four-year-old, little....
"Why do you have that bra on? Take it off right now!" I said, walking toward him.
I begin to snatch it off and he squats to the floor with his hands over his face, yelling, "No! No!" as if I am trying to kill him.
I got him up and warned his sister to come on. Their heads are down for all of ten seconds, then they start giggling about something again. They tried to stop to look at something-
"Oh no, keep moving," I told them. I mistakenly bumped them with the buggie when they stopped unexpectedly.
"Keep moving now!" Keeping them in front of the buggie helped me to keep an eye on them. But the small bump gave me an idea.
As we headed for the check-out, they began singing and marching and looking back at me. Like I was a joke.
Without hesitation, I hit them with my buggie.
My son, unfortunately, was the only one to fall. He got up and looked at me as if he knew it was no accident. I looked around to see if there were any witnesses. I saw one person coming up behind us. I wasn't sure what he saw, so I acted fast.
"Oh, baby are you alright?"
Not going over to him probably made my performance unconvincing but hey, I didn't know that dude.
"Mama. You didn't see us in front of your cart?" my daughter asked.
They both stood there looking worried.