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Wednesday, January 03, 2007

How'd We Miss That?

We sometimes try to hard to be perfect parents and I've just come to the realization that there is no such thing as perfect parents. I have tried to monitor what they are exposed to a little too much. When we have a babysitter I routinely go down the list of what they can do and what they can watch on television. "No videos, no shows dealing with fighting and nothing with vulgar language- just let them keep it on Disney Channel or PBS." But some of these shows or networks can't be trusted.
The other day our two were bickering over something. They had been at it all day. I'd had it with them and the picking. I mean they just got all this stuff for Christmas so they should be okay right? Well no! They want to play with each other toys and depending on the other's mood, it ain't happening. Our daughter wants to play with his Rescue Rangers tower because you can record yourself on the tower and she gets a kick out of hearing herself.
"My brother has a stinky butt head face," she records and plays back. She falls on her back laughing and kicking then you hear, "WHAP!" You know her brother isn't going to let that go. Then she's crying. And I'll be honest, they are at it so much that- and I ain't sayin' it's right but- I will not jump to intervene. "Do you not hear them in there fighting?" Dude asks.
"Is either one bleedin'?" I ask. He goes in and tells them to stop it and tells them to apologize to one another. They do but it isn't genuine and I know they will do it again soon.
Ten minutes later, they are at it again.
"No you can't play with my train," our three-year-old says.
"Well fine then you can't play with my Dora castle," our five-year-old screams.
Dude's face crinkles. He hates for our son to play with, in his eye, girl toys. They continue.
"If you touch my Dora castle again then I'm gonna tear your tail up!"
Our son answers, "You don't tell me what to do. You not a dulp". (Yes it's spelled right- he's three and he was trying to say an adult.)
There was a break in the conversation and this usually indicates something physical coming so Dude yells for them to come in our room. Then he starts his Cliff Huxtable thing..... talking. Oh I had something that would talk alright.
"Look now. If you two can't get along then you can just go up to your rooms and not play at all," he says. "Brothers and sisters don't fight," he adds.
"Well we do," remarks our son.
Cliff, I mean Dude just looks at him for a few seconds then says, "I tell you what. I was trying to be nice because yo mama wanted to get you, so just go sit in there on the couch for time out". "You mean on the love seat?" our son asks. Dude points and tells them, "Just go!"
They drop their heads, and begin to march out of our room then we hear our daughter say something jaw-dropping, "Pervert".
Dude and I stop what we are doing and look at each other. "Come here!" he firmly says to her. "Do you know what a pervert is?" he asks. She just looks at him. So he tells her, "A pervert is a nasty person". Her look says that she understands and that she is sticking with it.
By this time I am trying not to laugh. I just can't believe she would say that just because they had to go to time out.
So they go on and we sit there trying to figure out where she got it from.
A few days later, they beg us to watch Ice Age- The Meltdown, only for the umpteenth time. While watching we realize that we had been monitoring the wrong stuff. In one of the scenes a possum calls the mammoth a pervert. How'd we miss that?

1 comment:

scruffdiva said...

Excellent writing! Very funny! Reminds me of Nora Ephron or Erma Bombeck.