Maurissa has started her second sport. We are trying basketball. Last Spring she and her brother did soccer and that went pretty well, except for the time she went to use the port-a-john and took so long that a line formed to use it- parents and their kids. Embarrassing wasn't a powerful enough word. Only to find out that she was in there doing number two! In a port-a- john? She said she lined it as she normally does when we go out but still... I'm sayin'. Anyway, that was an earlier post.
Well Thursday night was her second practice for basketball. They practice at the local YMCA. So there are other groups in the gym and lots of people. As I look around, I see that OTHER kids are listening and trying to do the drills, etc. Well not mine. She couldn't free her hands enough to try to get the ball to do anything. Her hands were busy pulling something out of her butt.
"Maybe her panties are too big and she is trying to pull them up," Dude said.
"No, there is nothing wrong with her panties," I said rubbing my temples.
"You think it's her pants?" He whispered.
"No! It's not her panties, pants- I don't know what she is doing but she definitely ain't trying to be discreet about it!" I answered.
"Now look at her!" I was at a loss.
She was bending over trying to see us throuh her legs.
"Hey, Mommy!"she waved... through her legs.
I motioned for her to stand up and pay attention.
When one of the coaches tried to tell her what to do on defense she was standing there batting her eyes, smiling hard with her top lip tucked under and twirling her hair. It was ridiculous.
At one point I felt a little better because she was jumping up and down, waving her arms. So I figured she was trying to block a shot. Well, no. I realized no one was near her. Her teammates were near the goal passing the ball around. Well at least she did get that part that they showed her. Have to work on using the skills at the right time.
I guess I was getting so flustered that Dude told me I was banned from practices from now on.
"Nope you can't come anymore. And I know you are probably giving her the evil eye."
I may have tried to give her the evil eye once or twice but she either didn't see me or ignored me.
At one point she whispered something to one of the coaches and pointed at me. Would love to know what that was about.
Not sure if or when she will be ready for a game. Not sure if I will either. Geez!
Adventures of a seemingly dYsFUNctioNALl mom and wife!
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