What People Are Made Of... A Five-Year-Old's Perspective"

You gotta listen in on kids' conversations. I'm on the computer and I overhear our two talking. Myles casually tells his sister, "Brown people are made out of mud and white people are made out of snow."
Of course she corrected him and explained that, "Everyone- even white people are made out of mud, bubble brain!"
I did tell her she could not call her brother a bubble brain.
The things they come up with.

Mama Is Busted!

My son's kindergarten teacher smiled as she told me about circle/reading time in their class.
"I'm reading this story and I come up on the word 'gossip', she begins. "So I asked the class if anyone knew what it meant."
At this point I smile with her, thinking they are all a bunch of five-year-olds, who will come up with a crazy definition for the word- plus she is smiling too.
She continues on. "Well, Myles (a definite mama's boy) raises his hand and says he knows what it means."
At this point she rubs my shoulder ever so gently.
My little man rats me out. He tells the teachers and class, "Yes my mama do that."
The teacher laughs and says, "We asked him if you talk about us."
I try to think quickly without showing it. I didn't remember talking about them- at least not in his little presence. I mean we know he and his sister are nosey, and we can't spell things out- either our little seven-year-old precocious child will get it or Dude will spell the wrong word (earlier post).
He told them that, "She gossips about Daddy."
My smile turned upside down. I was busted.

Smoking Isn't Cool

There is a commercial- I guess it could be considered a PSA about the results of smoking. There is a woman talking, using one of the devices covering her throat. It makes her sound a little robotic or something. Well... my two little ones saw the commercial.
They had been around the house holding their throats talking- mimicking her and I didn't realize it at the time, so I never said anything. I just thought they were being their little entertaining selves as usual. Maurissa is an aspiring actress.
The commercial came on tonight and we were all in the room together.
"Mama. Watch this lady- it is so cool!" one screamed.
"My name is Maurissa and this is my brother Myles," she said, trying to copy the lady's voice.
"No! No! No!" I told them. "That's not cool."
They were dumbfounded.
"It's not?"
"No. That lady has to talk like that because she smoked. That is the point of the commercial- to get people not to smoke!"
They sat for a moment then went upstairs... still holding their throats, talking but trying to do it softly. It had not impact on them whatsoever. Those two little ones got the wrong message.

Dude!

Okay. I have been sick for the last few days. I did see a doctor on Friday at one the after-hours, walk-in places. The doctor ruled out the flu but said I have a virus. He gave me a prescription for a "strong" (his words) decongestant and told me I should feel better by... today. Well I realize I've never been to medical school but... he never really examined me. No stethoscope. No ear or nose check. Nope he barely swabbed my tonsils and said a virus. Meantime it is three days later and I am hoarse, still have a fever.
Today was the worst. My two babies told me to stop talking, I sound so bad. So I have tried.
A few minutes ago, Dude came in asking me umpteen questions.
"Don't make mommy talk Daddy!" Myles yelled.
After tucking them in he came back down and asked a bunch of questions. So I asked him to get me some paper so I could write my responses.
Since I was at the computer already I just typed it out. Well... I'm wondering why it is taking him so long to respond. This dude is sitting there writing his responses.
Why are YOU writing? I typed and tapped the screen heavily. He read it and began to write again.
And he is going to work tomorrow- he is a teacher. Lord have mercy!