Educational Talk Gone Bad.

Why would I name my book Diary of a Mad, Black, Dysfunctional Mom? Gees, just read some of these blogs- myriad reasons why, but let's just add this one to the list.
My husband (not mad at him right now so I will refer to him nicely) and I were discussing child safety and the dangers of strangers and the possible things people could say to lure little ones. Well I decide to "educate" our two little ones about Stranger Danger.
So I get them together and in my nice mommy voice begin to have a Mrs. Rogers-Jackson Neighborhood moment.
"What would you do if someone came up to you- someone you didn't know and he or she offered you candy?"
"What kind of candy?" Maurissa asked.
"I don't know- any kind of candy, like a Snickers," I answered.
"But Rissa don't like Snickers," Myles jumped in.
"Just any kind of candy, okay!" I said. "The point is that you should not take the candy- no matter what kind it is!"
I was already beginning to get out of sorts.
I went on to explain to them that they didn't want to take anything from a stranger or even talk to strangers at all.
"They may not use candy- they could ask you for help. Like someone may say they need you to help them find their dog," I added.
"Well, what if it's a cat or a fish?" Myles asked.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath and wondered why did it have to get to this.
"It don't matter what kind of animal- my point is that you shouldn't go!" I almost screamed.
"People can use any trick to try to get you to go with them- so you don't want to talk to them, or take candy or help them find their pet- whether it is a cat, dog, whatever," I told them.
"Mommy, what if it is the "peace" officer who need help?" Myles asked.
"Honey the POLICE officer would not need your help- if an adult ask you for help and I am not around then you tell them to ask another adult for help and you keep walking away from them," I explained.
"What if it's a peace officer with candy and he is looking for- a nice dog" Myles asked.
"Just forget it!" I told them. "Just go on and get ready for bed!"
"But the scary peace officer might be in my room," Myles said.
The things I go through.