Daddy Knows Best

I got a good laugh today when my husband tried to play the "disciplinarian" with our two kids. Our five-year-old daughter, is great at manipulation already and our three-year-old son is.... well... he is his mother's child as my husband says whenever he gets into something. Today they both had bad days at school. Normally when I tell "Dude" (husband) about them he gives the old, "Now you know better!" OOOOOOOOOOOh, I'm gonna call Social Services if he does that again. GIVE ME A BREAK!!
Later, she is cuttin' up again in front of some other parents. He sees my look (the I'm gonna git ya when we get home look) and he stands up and calls her over- nicely. He then motions for our son who is on my lap. They come to him and he starts acting like Cliff Huxtable- talking to them ever so kindly, slowly and never raises his voice. He explains that they have to be a good boy and girl and how important it is to listen and do the right things. The other parents are smiling with their "oh, that is so sweet" faces. He gives them choices and then warns them that mommy is angry. And I am...pissed!!! For lack of a worse word. He tells them how much he loves them and blah blah blah. The parents look over at me like I stink. And I didn't make it any better by folding my arms and walking out alone. Folks just don't know. Dude then gets them buckled in and starts trying to add on to his Huxtable talk while driving home. Well here is where he messes up- he begins trying to use words in the wrong context. Now our daughter is smart as umm.... him so she corrects him a few times and once she asked him what the meaning of one word was and he got mad. This story ends with her interrupting Dude's lecture with a, "Daddy can we get some McDonald's?" and he firmly replies, "We can get it this time but from now on when you don't do the right things, you don't get treats." As we pull out of the parking lot of McDonalds, Rudy- I mean our daughter and son are fighting over their food. A drink spills and I cross my leg, recline my seat and calmly ask, "You know you cleaning that mess up, right?"