Visits

A glass of wine should be a prerequisite before annual gynecological visits. I've had these visits for years but still haven't gotten used to them yet. The most recent visit was made a year in advance so you'd think I was anxiety-free. I should have postponed this one. My allergies have been brutal this summer. My usual pill in the morning, a pill at night and a nasal squirt here and there usually allows me to be okay.
Not this time.
I was sneezing as soon as I signed in. Sneezing in the waiting area. I think the folks waiting were worried that I had something contagious and needed to wear a mask.
"Allergy season," I offered between sneezes. Sara (well she looked to be that old) looked like she didn't believe me, which was fine because it was hard for me to believe someone her age would still be required to lay back and put her feet in those little contraptions for an exam.
Unfortunately, the nurse was on time.
"Mrs. Jackson", she smiled as she welcomed me back.
"How are you today?" she continued.
I would be great if I didn't have to come here today. 
"I'm fine. Hope you are?" I lied.
"Doing great! Thanks for asking. Are there any changes in your health or any questions; concerns for the doctor today? she asked.
"Is there any possible way to get exempt from this exam or get modifications?" I laughed but was so serious.
As she prepared to get my blood pressure, she laughed too.
"Your blood pressure is a little higher than last time."
"I've got a little normal anxiety with this exam." It's always a little elevated when I see white lab coats, specimen catchers, stirrups that aren't at the bottom of pants, silver instruments, modified gowns, and crinkly white paper I have to lay on.
She kindly patted my shoulder, directed me to do the usual: get fully undressed, put the gown on and wait for the doctor.
I reached for a magazine but he and the nurse had the nerve to be professional and timely as usual and come in to get started.
Sneezing started up again. Not good.
He started but had to stop a few times while I sneezed.
"Whoa! You okay?" he asked at one point.
"YES!" I said loudly, trying to cover the slipped, involuntary flatulence that sometimes occurs when I sneeze uncontrollably. I was so embarrassed.
Finally finished and dressed he did have good news! I was eligible to get exams every three years now!!!!
Maybe a postrequisite glass of wine?

Another Doctor's Visit

This blog could actually just be posts about our son's trips to the doctor. I have quite a few posts about that on here over the years. The posts started when he was about five. He's 14 and the stories haven't stopped.

After being sick, mostly sore throat, I took him to the doctor. If he misses school he is definitely not feeling well. Before I could press the last number to make an appointment the questions began. Already expecting it, I put my hand up to cut him off while I accepted the time given over the phone.

"They aren't gonna do that thing where they swab my throat are they?" Coughing, he added, "If that's the plan, I'm good. That's not gonna work for me."

What did that mean? I thought.

"They do that to test for strep and I don't think you have strep," I lied told him. "I'll bet your throat is just sore from coughing so much."

A few minutes after checking in, the registration associate called me back up to the desk.

"I'm sorry but I noticed that he hasn't had his annual physical?" I explained that he had s sports' physical. She explained that it wasn't a complete physical. She then told me they could go on and do his physical since he was there.

Uh oh. "Okay!"

He heard all of it. "I came because I'm sick! And you know I told you and Daddy that I don't want to have a female doctor to examine me."
He was on edge. He continued with statements or questions- unsure what they were. He was correct about wanting to change physicians. After his male physician retired, he told us that. He had just started having the "big boy" physicals.

"Am I gonna have to get shots?" "Naw. You've had all your shots. You're good." I lied assured him.

When they called him back I went with him. I had to give him the eyebrows to make sure he cooperated. The nurse asked him to fill out a screener. He was on the other side of the room by choice so I did not see his answers.
"Okay, mom do you have any concerns for the doctor today?" He vigorously shook his head. Then she told him what he didn't want to hear, after going over his symptoms. That she needed to swab his tonsils.
"My mom told me y'all weren't gonna do that today." I smiled and giggled, "You are so silly, you know I don't know. I'm not a doctor."
She was able to get something on the third try.
"Okay. The doctor will be in in a few minutes."
"You're not gonna stay in here are you? Before I could answer he asked another question. "I still need y'all to find me a male doctor."

The doctor came in. "I'm a little concerned about you," she said.
Oh no, I thought, the lab results are back already.
"You answered on the screener that you weren't happy?"
"I'm not happy."
"Why? she asked.
"I had to come here to get my throat poked and now I gotta take my clothes off. AND I still don't know for sure if I gotta get shots." he barked.

OMG. The doctor thought he was depressed.