my words

I don't know how many tears I have left, but I will use them all- and still not feel better. My heart literally hurts. My vision is blurred.
I keep drifting to sleep, hoping that the next time I wake, it would have been a dream.
I never believed she would go. No!! I know people die- I know this but not her.
I can't stop thinking about her. Her music, her friendship, just her. Our talks, our laughs.
Who will I talk to now when I want to say whatever I want about whatever I want, whenever I want?
She just texted me Monday. I don't understand. I don't want to. I just want to bang these keys, destroy the keyboard! It hurts so bad. I can't think!
I finally got up this evening and took a shower- and I began to cry- she can't take a shower anymore.
Maurice told me I needed to eat- but she can't eat!
No matter what I do, I cry because she can't do it.
When my phone rang this morning and I saw her number, I sprang up and was so excited.
"Hey! You know I was getting worried!"
But it wasn't her.
"Hey Melissa, this is Jeff- Kenya's uncle. How are you?"
"Gettin' over this flu-"
I stopped. Why would he be calling me from her phone?
"Are you sittin' down?"
NO!NO!NO!
"Kenya passed away this morning."
SHe couldn't have- I just got a text on the 4th and today is just the 8th.
This sucks!