Losing teeth, falling, walking for the first time, potty training,first words, and fathers buying double-barrelled shotguns when it is time for their daughters to date. These are all things we know, as parents, we will have to deal with. But then there are some things that come up that you just aren't- well I'm not prepared for.
I'm making snacks Saturday when I hear our daughter yelling for me from upstairs. I drop everything and run to her rescue.
"Where are you?" I scream once I reach the top of the stairs.
"I'm in here," she moans.
I realize she is in the bathroom. I slowly open the door and there she is on the toilet with tears in her eyes and enough tissue in her hand for 20 adults.
Her little face is red and she looks drained.
"What's wrong?" I ask her.
She tries to tell me but I can't understand her with all the crying.
"Calm down. Just calm down, baby," I tell her while I look around. Maybe she saw something, I didn't know.
She finally tells me what it is. "I'm trying to make stinky but it's stuck in my butt, mommy."
I just look at her for a few seconds. Her lips keep moving and I'm sure words were coming out but the receiving part of my brain couldn't get it together because all I could think about was how the heck was I going to help her or who could I call. What friend could I call who could give me some helpful advice without laughing hysterically?
"Mommy. Mommy?"
"Okay baby just stand up," I told her.
"NO!" she squealed.
"Can you just take a deep breath and suck it back in?"
Her head turned like a curious little puppy.
"I mean just make your body bring it back in," I explained.
"Bring what in, mommy?"
"You know your stinky," I said.
She started crying again uncontrollably. I began pacing in front of the Winnie the Pooh shower curtain, trying to figure out what to do.
"Shh, shh," I rubbed her head. I then began rubbing her back and stomach, then realized how dumb it was and that it would not help.
Amid the crying, I snapped. "You're just gonna have to either push it out or make it go back in".
She then began bouncing on the seat and yelled, "No, no, no. It hurts. I can't!"
So I stooped down in front of her and began telling her how sometimes I have a hard time using the bathroom and that I knew how she was feeling, when suddenly I noticed her face getting red again and her eyes are getting tighter. Then suddenly, the sound I wanted to hear- "Plop".
"I did it! I did it! All by myself!" she exclaimed.
"Whoa! That's as big as me, mommy," she remarked, looking in the toilet. "I don't know if that's going to flush," she added.
"Just flush it," I told her. "And wash your hands".
That was a relief- for her and for me.
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