Bathroom Time

I just knew the New Year would start out right! Well that was my intention. I worked out yesterday and ate right. Ended the day with a nice warm, bubbly bath. Had my inspirational music going, candles lit, nice bottle of water- I poured it in a fancy glass for the mood- and a nice book to read near the tub.
No kids, no "Dude" (hubby for new readers) nearby.
I closed the door, eased slowly into that steamy water and sat for a few minutes to take it all in. I didn't have Calgon bath products but whatever it was on sale last week, it took me away- BRIEFLY.
I was sitting there still- minding my business when someone came busting in! There wasn't a knock. No, "Mommy are you busy?" Someone just barged in! I could hear the needle on the record scratch.
"Mama. She scratched me on my arm!" our sweet, little, considerate, six-year-old son shouted.
I counted to five and blinked my eyes a few times before responding. This was a new year so that meant controlling my emotions and reactions as well. Dude and I have to be leaders in our domain.
I sipped my water and calmly asked, "Did you do something to her first?"
"Mama what is that you drinkin'? Is that alcohol?"
I went back to my question- "Did you do something to her first?"
"Well she wouldn't let me watch Sponge Bob," he finally answered and still looking at my champagne glass.
"So you touched her first didn't you?" I asked.
"Mama. You said drinking alcohol is bad for you."
I could feel my attitude changing slowly but surely.
"I said that too much alcohol is bad for you but a glass of wine occasionally is not bad and people may drink a glass of wine on special occasions," I told him.
He was all in my business now. "But this is not wine or any other alcohol- it is pure water."
"What's pure?" he asked.
Attitude going backwards to 2009 already.
"Look! You and your sister need to keep your hands to yourselves and just stay away from each other for a little while!" I told him.
He finally left.
I sunk back down into my bubbles and took a deep breath.
Not five minutes later he came running back in and plopped right on the toilet.
"Wait! You have a bathroom upstairs!" I yelled.
"But s-sh-she is nusing it," he strained.
I quickly realized he was sitting down. If a boy is sitting down that means one thing-
I almost used profanity I was so mad.
I sat up quickly- splashing water and yelling! "No! Don't do that in here!"
"Mama this is a bathroom."
I threw water at him.
"CUT THE FAN ON!"