Christmas Questions

Another great Christmas! This year our little precious seven and five-year-old kids attempted to put their own toys together. They actually did a great job too! They had a lot of questions too!
After opening one of his requested items, the little five-year-old, puzzled, asked,
"How did Santa know I wanted this Pixos?"
"Don't worry about it. You got it didn't you?" I kindly asked. "Besides... you put it on your list."
"Actually he didn't mama. When we were sitting in your room and the commercial came on, we told YOU that we wanted the Pixos," his seven-year-old, technically correct sister chimed in.
Dude tried to muffle his laugh.
"Well I told Santa then!" I replied.
"You talked to Santa?"
By this time my parents and Dude were looking at us as if they were watching a tennis match.
"JUST OPEN YOUR GIFTS!" I KINDLY suggested.
It was finally time to clean up some of the clutter and help them put things together.
"Here are the batteries for your things," I told them.
The puzzled look returned.
"Uh... how did you know what batteries to get us?"
"Don't worry about it! We just happen to have these batteries!"
All these questions- I just think we need to tell them the truth. Santa gets too much credit anyway.

Dawn, Tide, Mr. Bubbles... All the Same!

I'm not sure if my five-year-old will want to take a bubble bath for awhile. I ran his water last night and he was jumping around saying, "Bubbles, Bubbles!"
Well I didn't have any and I just wanted him to get in the tub so I could get some peace. So I did what any, Black person who grew up in the 70's and 80's would have done... I got the next best thing- some dish detergent.
"Stop jumping around and go get mommy the dish detergent from the sink in the kitchen," I told him.
He stopped. Thought about it and had a peculiar look on his face.
He slowly walked in looking at the blue Dawn liquid.
"Mommy what are you gonna do with-?"
I squeezed some in the running water.
I mean I didn't think anything of it. I remember my grandma putting washing POWDER like Tide in my water back in the day. Getting the real deal was a treat!
"Go on and get in," I coaxed.
He was confused so I just nicely helped him in. I had things to do.
I went around the corner and peeked at him. I had to put my hand over my mouth so he wouldn't hear me laughing.
He sat there with his mouth open- bewildered, confused- he had every look in the book.
I didn't hear any splashing for several minutes like I usually did when he was in the tub.
Needless to say he didn't stay in long.

I Gotta Draw The Line Somewhere

Thanksgiving is behind us now. This means all leftovers should be discarded immediately. Would someone tell Dude- I mean my husband that. He actually thought me and the kids were gonna eat it. No! We are tired of it now. I was tired after the second day.
"Okay. Today is the last day I will eat it and I will throw everything out tonight," he promised.
So he went on and fixed his last plate.
I know I shouldn't have such a big issue about it- I mean after all, he's grown so if HE wants to eat it, let him... right?
Well, it kinda affects me too.
He ate some leftover chitterlings. I mean "chittlins'.
I have already described them to our two little ones in great, nasty details, in hopes they will not want to eat them. Dude said that was wrong but hey- nobody should eat that stuff.
Well I told him that nothing was gonna go down tonight. Nada! I just cannot begin to think of a kiss after chewing those things- and they were cooked days ago. Oh naw!
I may be wrong but I just can't get past it. It ain't enough toothpaste in the Crest warehouse to convince me to even give him a peck on the cheek tonight. I gotta draw the line somewhere.