Myles and Maurissa are playing soccer now. Their first sport! They are pretty good too. Myles is really good- we just have to tell him to make sure he is kicking the ball in the right goal. He listens well and he is just good- looks much bigger than the other kids.
Well Maurissa... we don't know what's gonna happen with her when she plays or practices. The second practice, the coach is bent down talking to them in a huddle and I think she is looking at him intently and listening, but she is using his sunglasses as a mirror. She starts fixing her hair, then has the little nerve to pull his sunglasses down a bit off his face so she can see HERSELF better. She then asked him to hold still so she could see where to place her hair clip. (Why does this stuff happen to me?)
In the past three weeks since they started there have been plenty of comedy scenes. Well today just beat all. This stuff always happens to me- when I am by myself with them. Maurissa and her teammates are on the field practicing and she is actually attentive. Then after about 15 minutes I see her holding herself. Coach tells her to go and points to the "Port-a-John" of course. She runs there and I hesitate at first to go with her but Myles is with me so I let her go on. I mean I could see her and I've taught her to squat or line the seat. A few minutes creep by and I look up there and there are two people waiting with their kids. I waited another minute or two and ran up there- thinking she is in there playing.
"I'm so sorry," I smile at the people waiting.
I knocked on the door and in my Claire Huxtable voice, ask, "Maurissa... are you done? There are people waiting."
She didn't respond.
I knock a little bit harder and Myles proceeds to open the door.
"No! Don't open the door while she is in there buddy," I say ever so gently.
"Uh come on outta there! What are you doing?" Now more like Penny's mom from Good Times.
"I'm making stinky!" she answers.
I want to crawl under one of the cars in the parking lot.
She comes out and the smell follows. She comes out with her loud voice with details about the stinky she just made. I over-talked her to stop her.
Through my clinched teeth I tell her, "You shoulda waited 'till we got home to do that!"
How nasty!!!
Adventures of a seemingly dYsFUNctioNALl mom and wife!
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